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service ytd was AWESOME :). heheh. the sermon and I clicked well!
for more details, visit the opphci blog. :D

{/12:53 PM}

<3, me

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hahah so many mixed emotions. i was ranting to God last night.
told Him i was emo, tired. not happy, angry and simply dissatisfied!

Cos i was just reflecting about the week. and when i did, i was super angry at myself. as always there are so many mistakes made! so many things that could have been done. so many things left undone.

i wanna do my best. i wanna fulfil the pact that i made. but whenever i told him "use me use me!" im so worried that my actions will speak otherwise. i don't know if what i do is pleasing to Him. Will He look at me and smile or shake head and turn away? I feel that im STILL not doing enough.

ONE WEEK MORE. 7 DAYS.
somemore this week will be rather packed with other activities
im worried :(

and so i asked Him,
Will You show me the way?
Will you give me physical strength?
Will you open the hearts of ppl?


and this is what He said:
I have brought you so far alrdy, through many trials and problems. I let you see breakthroughs in your very own life. Will I not bring you through this again? Will I not move when you ask me to? Ask my child, keep asking, keep working, keep persevering. I WILL move and I will work at my best time. Trust me.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. [Matt 7:7-8]

:)

my reply:
Yes God, I believe, I obey. With my limitations, help me do whatever I can! Let me tell you sth. I'm scared. I'm tired. I'm lost as to how on earth I'm gg to see NY 10 coming to past in ONE week. But God, I TRUST. You are perfect. when you choose me, do I still say that you have made a wrong decision? you don't!
AND. You have not given up, why should I? Till the day you ask me to let go, I will hold on. I will not give up!
These are your ppl, dear God.
TAKE OVER.

And in your name God, nanyang 10 WILL come to past! Yes. AMEN! <3

{/12:20 PM}

<3, me

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szemin: hahahaha. stalking fun rights? :D hohoh. anws. busy girl! jiayous :) <3!

mel: heyhey! hahaha see ya on SAT! its 3 days away! :D yeah!

peiling: heys. hahah yeah its addictive :D. but gt it out of my brain alrdy. finally. hahahs

zach: hello! yes i like white too :) dont ever think i will have a black blog. hahah. hmm. yep i will!

joanne: hello dear shep :D you are treasured too! ehhh u are a stalker also lor! hehehs. love our ytd msn convo! <3 thanks for being there!


well, the clock says 3.29! 1 min before shar's chi supp lesson ends. haha. bye :) i will blog more when i can find the time!

{/3:17 PM}

<3, me

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OKAY! its mid-week! today is nanyang's 90th anniversary :D. morning parade, take whole sch photo etc etc. hmmm. i cant help bt to feel a little nostalgic about leaving nanyang. last year le. lots of good memories and experiences :)

THE 90TH ANNIVERSARY SONG IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. hahaha. i cant get it off!

im glad the writer of the song is this old nanyang girl who is still so...NANYANG! hahah she super funny lah. and the way she recount about her nanyang days etc. very wen xin, sincere. :) and we as the current nanyang students can relate to the things she say immediately! at least for me.

I LOVE NANYANG k!

/

We had caregroup today! it was great fun :D. hahaha. i love these people! not to forget some spurts of random-ness. LIKE how dear yuxin was STRESSED out by games!. hahah. super funny. we were trying to think a scene of her complaining to joanne that today she very stressed out.

Imagine,

yuxin: ohh JOANNNEEE! today i very very stressed ehh :(( *whines*

joanne: huhh why?? (says sth encouraging)

yuxin: HERRRRRR (you know the 'HERR" in the yuxin way :D) i very stressed out...by games!

muahahah. i love my twinnie! btw, we were playing snap jack/clap queen/raise hand king and call-out name game thing :D hoho. and we learnt about studying the WOG. hmm hopefully hopefully hopefully it wasn't too cheemified and incoherent! im sorry people. you have a very naggy cl :/ hehs

okay. some other things tt happened today. actl there weren't many lessons. but bio was quite :/ cos the reality came on us tt we have to study EVERYTHING in the bio sylabbus for sec3 and 4! tts super hiong lah. hahah. but oh well. i like bio though :).

shall end off with a shoutout.

JIAYOU stmarg ppl + sherlyn for your upcoming olvel prelims! i know now it must be an intensive mugging period. ADD OIL! and bridget jiayou jiayou for your exams too! :D. will be supporting you guys in prayer!

TO ALL WHO ARE HAVING EXAMS. ALL THE BEST!

{/7:47 PM}

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It's good to be assured and secure in my identity as child of God :) soo. just wanna share some stuff i wrote in my journal.

-As a beloved and very dear child, this is who i wanna be

a child tt shares your heartbeat and see the world through Your eyes. A child whose eyes sparkle at any mention of Your work and say "Here I am, use me! I will go all out for You!"

one that does not fight alone, run alone. cos I know im part of a loving family and cos I know you are with me.

A child that runs to give you a hug and lay my head against your shoulder.

I wanna be Your best friend, alway sharing to you random stuff in life: problems, success. Tong gan gong ku! bestie! jiang hua partner! MY LOVE

I wanna grow to be like you! Like a child who says" I wanna be like my Dad when I grow up!" Only tt I know I can start now. heheh. bang yang! Iwanna be like my Daddy.

I wanna boast, need to boast and share about all the good things You have done in my life. A child who is proud to declare, " That's my Daddy!"-

YES. sounds cliche now tt i type it out. hmmm. Calean feels very very very blessed and loved to be His child. i can't help it if we share a lovey dovey r/s kays. hohoh. lovelovelove. <3

.....

ANW. I have planned my week! yay:D and my neck is pain from sunburnt from sentosa cl retreat. hmmm. let's see. I need MORE DRIVE. gogogo!

{/8:20 PM}

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Suddenly thought about blogging about this. If you look under my profile--->
over there:) you would realise that under 'Calean'. There is this phrase 'Child of God'. :) ever wondered why i didn't just put the phrase 'Christian'?

it's really simple. cos Chiristianity to me is no way just a religion, where i don't know why i do what i do..

Being my parent's daughter (to me) means that i know im cared for by my parents, they want to best for me. They love me. They want a bright future for me.

What more being a child of GOD? :)
it's my honour, blessing and joy. pls ASK ME WHY.



assuredly yours <3

{/12:48 AM}

<3, me

♥

Yesterday was national day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!! I love my nation :D.
went at dhoby ghaut for caregroup ytd. hmm it felt like a short time! but i did enjoyed spending it with the ppl i lovelovelove! :D <3! I'm really finding myself loving this ppl more and more!

we learnt abt prayerlife. i didn't think it was just coincidence tt the passage we covered during caregroup was the SAME as what i did for connect journal tt night! whooo. sometimes it amazes me when the connect journal delivers the rught passage at the right time.

on prayerlife,
it is quite logical to think it in this way: if you don't know someone well naturally conversations are more on surface and there is a need to be much more intentional on what you talk about.

Have you ever had a friend where you realise tt every time you are with this person, conversations just FLOW. never-ending de. goes on hours and hours, one subj lead one to another. and basically you talk about EVERYTHING.

I want God to be this friend!

Prayerlife is always always growing. When i know God more, conversations get deeper, longer, muchmuch more enegerising and enjoyable. definitely more tangible.

-Joy of serving, joy of relationships w God and ppl, joy of living life for the audience of one. It's really cool that im beginning to discover this much more! (reminds me of my blog name eh :D)

:)

I spent the rest of yesterday with my maternal side family. My cousins and family just came back from China after 15 mths! really good to catch up with them :D.

today's FRIDAY! tommorrow's SATURDAY!

ohyes. tt reminds me. there is this cip project that guides is embarking on, sec4ip guides. and IT MAY CLASH ON SAT. horrorhorror. ask me if you wanna know more about my views on cip. I feel pretty much strongly in this issue. (It was my topic for sharing during the PGA interview leh!)

anyhows, i look forward to saturday as always!

{/3:15 PM}

<3, me

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This is where i will reply to tags!



xinyun: HELLO. :D NI HAO! lol. i will be seeing u (and the rest) for international pre-cmp trng pretty soon!

szemin: hahah sound so STALKER! lol :D ni yao update ni de! so i can stalk yours toooo. hehehs :D

joanne: heyhey! ahhh yes yes i shall, dun worry! tell you everything from last time long ago also can! :) heheh. okay yes. your hol coming soon! :DD

peiling: HEY! hahah tt was quite random! lol. ermmm. i just polish until i can see my teeth when i grin at my boots? can liao. im not those kind that willing to spend so much time on my boots anw.. hmm. dun need to care if polish fades off halfway or anything, is natural de. yepyep. :)



-theres caregroup tmr :)!

{/10:43 PM}

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hoho. its the start of the SIX-DAY (considered) holiday for ALL NANYANG GIRLS :D WHOOO!
all tests ovr. Praise God! tmr there's x-country and im doing duty! hees.

hmm. today my mum pointed out to me tt she thinks i am very emotional! true? well, some miscommunicatns between me and my parents but its all alrighty now. :D YAY!
and i think I have lots to grow in in the way i relate to them. must be CRYSTAL CLEAR. YES.

wonder who knows im highly emotional? tts not very good though!



ohyes. i know sec3s still have chi culture test next wk (right?) sooo if you are sec3 and are reading this. JIAYOU! MEMORISE. :D. hehehs

{/9:53 PM}

<3, me

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last night i spent 2 hours and 30 mins talking to dear szemin over the phone! :D:D:D whooos! new record! hahahs. aft having many unsuccessful attempts to meet up i guess we got to catch up more with each other! time well spent!

shoutout to my darling sheep. I LOVE YOU SZEMIN <3! thanks for the great jiang hua session! woots!

sunday now and tmr's math test! gotta mug hard. :)
byebye!

{/3:22 PM}

<3, me

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a good break from sch :D
spent most of the day in lala land today. im amazed at myself how much i can sleep!
sleeping a lot = nua-ness. gosh. but i recovered from tt!

HAPPY 17 BRIDGET!!!!!
love love love! :D




` cos YOU never fail me
i dont want to fail you!

{/11:47 PM}

<3, me