♥

sometimes its not THAT hard.. i just got to remember who God is. and love Him. love all He has created me to be, love His family, His church.

i hate it that im so inward looking. its like knowing that i am filling some bottomless pit and i still willingly do it :/ tell me is this stupidity or what. arghhhhh

okay at least im aware. keep refocusing, and keep fighting on!

and i just got to reblog this- from fung's bog!

"every time it comes, i close my eyes. tell myself, ‘everything’s going to be alright’. don’t dwell, don’t wallow, don’t give in. keep fighting, keep hoping. i’ve got Jesus with me."

love your stubborness. and courage :)..

its a race worth running, a cause worth living :) and yes, worth to keep denying myself. best is, we never run alone :).

{/12:43 PM}

<3, me

♥ besides the studying

on sun i decided to go for hccg reunion with the j3s :)! was the only j2 there. hahaha. i understand the rest cant come, anw i kind of sneaked out by saying im studying outside- which i did in the morn at smu. the morn weather was super nice then i still rmb. nice and cold from the rain. the reunion the the last time im seeing yuhui for a long while since shes flying off the france! being w the j3s really brought back the familiarity. like how liping is always the target for being bullied! hahah!

today i was studying bio, randomly decided to pick this book out the shelf "ABC's of the human body" by reader's digest. initial motive was the look for nice pictures so i can visualise better :P. but i ended up reading nearly the entire book cos its really really interesting! not very cheem. hahah which is good, less academic. :) lots and lots of pictures! love bio. .. covered quite a few topics for bio today- org of euk genome, photosynthesis, cellular respiration, endocrine. i realise explaining aloud to myself helps :D

im trying to bring interest into my studying.. so far all is working fine but gp(which is over, for prelims) and econs. grrr econs. doesnt help that my mum keeps reminding me to study it since its my mon paper and partly cos she sees the huge prelim papers for econs stack lying in the table, untouched ://.

anw. you know you know.. each time i read any medical related/human body related stuff and it captures me, i feel like im heading the right way.. in wanting to become a doctor. regardless of how.. bad my grades are. ahah. i know i tell myself that if it is God's plan, it will be so.. and out of the dunno how many hundreds of people eyeing for the 250 places in nus med sch, perhaps i stand a chance. you know.. maybe my grades can hit the mark.. maybe cos of this interest i can convince the interviewers.. blah blah blah. sigh. but confident of this goal? im really not. i dont even dare to express it out much to many people, the concerns and whatever. cos i just dont want to hear too much of qns like "you sure about it?" or qns along those lines. lol. or maybe i just dont want to see any body language that is less than affirmative... the doubts that can come in are just too many.

well i just have this small little hope, and im still praying abt it and waiting.

tmr is wed. would be studying with the unit people.. wonder whos gonna be there!

/
God in my thinking,
God in my blogging,
God in my studying,
God in my weakness
God in my strength,
God in the things that i cant stand doing
God in the people i love
God in the nature He created
God in my fears
Be my everything :)..

{/11:02 PM}

<3, me